Vicar criticised for refusing to baptise son of unmarried parents

A vicar has been criticised for refusing to baptise an 11-month-old baby on the basis that his parents were not yet married.

Father-of-two, Rev’d Tim Hayes, who has been the vicar at St John's in Dunkinfield, Manchester for 21 years, says that this had always been the policy at his church.

But Heather Lawrence and her partner Jonathan criticised the vicar after he told the couple he could only offer a blessing service when they attempted to arrange a baptism for their son.

The couple were cohabiting and had been in relationship for four years.

Rev’d Hayes said: “I believe marriage is God's way... [but] it's not so much about what I think, it's about what Jesus thinks.”

He added: “Marriage is part of God's way. Historically, it's always been the decision of the church. 'Baptism is a massive deal. We have lost the meaning of what baptism is all about. When it comes to baptism there is a small print. It's not a naming ceremony.

“If I'm standing up and saying ‘I want to follow God's way’ and God's way is marriage it will always be part of that. I will always hold up marriage as God's way of doing relationships.”

“I don't think the church should blindly accept what everyone in our culture is saying.”

Miss Lawrence said the only reason the couple were not married was because they could not afford a wedding, but had hoped to have a baby. 

Rev’d Hayes said that if money was the only problem, he would offer the couple a wedding ceremony for free.

He also said he did not want parents to underestimate the importance of the baptism service.

“The act of sprinkling water on a child, the physical act, does not signify anything apart from you being slightly wet,” he said.

“Ultimately it's not so much about religion but a loving relationship with God that requires me to make a decision. It's about standing up and nailing your colours to the mast and saying "I want to be a follower of Jesus.”

“Parents have to make these decisions and they are pretty big decisions when you look at the promises.”

A spokesman for the Church of England Diocese of Chester said: 

“Revd Tim Hayes would very much like to encourage the couple to take the Christian initiation of baptism very seriously.

“At no point has he refused to baptise the child. The Church of England believes that the best place for a child grow is within marriage.

“The vicar would be happy to help the couple be married and then to baptise their child at no financial cost to them – so that the best outcome can be achieved. 

“We hope the family will receive this offer warmly, but if they would rather not be married, then St John’s church, Dukinfield, will still be happy to offer them a service of thanksgiving.”
 

Related Coverage:
Christian mother's fury at vicar who refused to baptise her baby son because she isn't married to his father (Mail)